After a separation…
Separating from your partner because you grew apart, or realized you had different values, can be one of the saddest moments in your life. This usually happens after many attempts to repair the relationship. It is not only sad because you let go the person, but also everything you thought was going to be. The world can become an unknown place. The person can stay stuck (feeling helpless or anxious) or move forward. Moving on involves connecting with parts of you that you have neglected most of our life.
Some moments in our life by being more you sometimes mean saying goodbye to spaces and people that no longer belong to the new life you want to create. Sometimes you don’t know what that new space will be like or what you are looking for it, the only thing you do know is that you want to be you. You just want to be you.
1. Only you are responsible for yourself, and although sometimes we do not choose to be there, it is up to us little by little to take responsibility for ourselves. Sometimes we are clear where to start, at other times we are not clear and it is important in these cases to eek psychological help. Some friends can help but a professional is a better option.
2. All your emotions are valid. There is not one that is not, what I ask you is to be very careful with the guilty feelings you might be experiencing. In the moments after a separation and/or divorce, it is likely that you will begin to see dysfunctional behaviors that did not help in the relationship, it is normal , we are not perfect, you did not know it before, now you know it. You may blame yourself for not knowing this sooner, but remember you did the best you could, and we are here to learn.
3. If necessary, use sticky notes, so that you can remind yourself how valuable you are, the fact that things did not go as you thought does not mean that you have failed in life. You are still a person worthy of receiving love and getting the things you want in your life. Surround yourself with those people who give you love and remember how special you are. If you don’t feel safe sharing your emotions to friends and family members, it is ok – you can also find a support group. You would be amazed to see how many people out there are there for each other.
4. Make a list of all your achievements and qualities. You are unique and unrepeatable, capable of achieving many things. If you have difficulty doing it then what do you think a friend of yours would answer me if I asked her about you.
5. Listen to happy music (probably you will have to make a new playlist), run, move your body, although sometimes it is not our first option, even if it is stretching for 10 minutes a day. While you stretch give thanks to that body that has allowed you to do so many things in life, remind yourself how wonderful you are. We begin to give give love to ourselves: with kind words towards ourselves, remembering that we are human beings, in the process of learning.
Remember: This content does not seek to replace psychological therapy.
If you think you need help, go to a psychologist...
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